Forced Break

Posted Nov 10, 2021 10:26PM UTC

My other half’s been in the hospital with pneumonia for two weeks. That’s not quite accurate, since, thankfully, they eased COVID restrictions and I’ve spent part of each day with him. So, at a rough estimate, 41% of me has been gone. I’ve taken an iPad with me a couple of times, thinking I might do something while he's sleeping, but holding his hand and rubbing his thumb has been a full and satisfying vocation, and I haven't gotten around to more.

Each day of the last week has been a broken promise. First, we heard he'd go to rehab. I was all for this, seeing how weak he'd become, but then we heard that the rehab center only does acute care, and he's only cleared for sub-acute care. So they planned to send him to another center which, based on online reviews and conversations with many friends, has a reputation as a death trap that leaves people far worse than when they come in. And it was the only option his insurance would pay for. So he was coming home. But his doctor said, "Let's keep trying." And a bed opened at a better place, and they got him ready to go. And by the time he was ready, the bed was taken. And now we wait for another chance.

It's stymied me. Each day, I think there's no point in starting anything because I'll be called away to bring him home or move him to rehab. I drive in to the hospital, and nothing's happening. I plop down in the chair beside him, and he snores away, and I think I'm not doing him any good being there until I realize I'm there because I need him, too. So I stay.

This all started when we got back from our week in Chattanooga. That was our first time away from home in two years, so I spent the week before getting us ready to go, getting the house ready for our cat sitters, etc. That means it's been a month since I devoted a day to OlderGay.Men. We're keeping up the regular maintenance, but if you're waiting for something new or you've sent a request and it's still pending, I hope you'll understand. He'll make a move soon and get better and be back with me, no? And we'll be on our way again. But when you love a guy over 80, you have to count on times like these.

Thanks for your indulgence, hope all's well with you,
Jeff