Posted May 02, 2026 1:37AM UTC
Don't make me regret this. 🙂
When I've asked what's missing from OlderGay.Men, one of the most insistent replies has been: Let me see who looked at my profile. The most recent back-and-forth on this is on our feedback forum, here. To recap my position there, I've been leery of adding this because of my own experiences. I've happened upon guys on SilverDaddies, even by an accidental slip of the finger, and had them send me messages just because I visited their page — and more messages, and more, in words increasingly alarming, because I wasn't replying to them.
For an older crowd that's not sure what's an email and what's a text message and what's YouTube and what's channel 375, this is a real concern. "I saw you looking at me, WTF aren't you calling the number I gave you?" isn't just tiresome. It's frightening. It's someone who saw you and is maybe watching you right now, and maybe knows where you are, and maybe worse. It's a reason to turn off the computer and never flip it on again. At least not for OGM.
So I've said, "No." And I still, generally, say "No" to this. But I've been working on distinguishing our supporter tiers. And in the course of that, I thought: "Would a financial barrier be enough to head off any stalking-like effects?" And I thought (and think (and hope)) it might. I'm willing to count on the belief that, for the most part, guys who contribute to the site can be trusted with this information. That you who are so invested in OGM can curb any instinct to creep another member out.
And so: Supporting members at the Patron and Hero tiers can now see their most recent visitors at:
I hope this is useful to you. It has been for me on SilverDaddies. But only as a means of running across guys I otherwise wouldn't have seen. I've reached out to visitors before, and started conversations that turned into friendships — friendships with guys who just didn't know whether it was worth saying "Hello". Friendships based on a polite introduction, but also connections that I immediately abandoned when the recipient said, "Thanks, but no thanks." Please, do the same.
If you're still not sure what I'm saying, here are examples. This is welcome:
Hi! Nice to meet you, I saw you're in my area. Do you ever go to the Pride Center? I'm there for Coffee & Conversation most Tuesdays. Let me know if you're ever going. I'd love to meet up, and maybe head out for some better coffee after. 😀
This, no:
Wow!! I saw you looking at me. I feel the same way you do. We've got to get together — we've got to be together! Google Meet me: [email protected]. I'm there now. Waiting. Waiting...
And:
Hey. Hey, you. Hey? Still there? Still waiting. Waiting...
And...
In short, this is a privilege we're extending. We expect that it will be used in the spirit in which it's shared. If you abuse it, we'd rather do without your pledge than have you with us. If someone complains, and you don't change course after warning, we'll send your money back and part ways. But please, just: Be cool. 🙂 Let it be another way to see who's out there, who might be a new buddy, and who might... just might! Be the one.