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OlderGay.Men turns 26 today. We've had a good year and welcomed many new friends. I've been less active here since the fall. My partner's on his third hospitalization since October. He went back with congestive heart failure in December and came home but never really recovered. It became enough of a struggle that he wanted to go in again. He's been in eleven days, and we hope he'll transfer to a rehab center tomorrow. As many of you have experienced, the worst of it now is that he has to be alone due to COVID restrictions. I'm down to hoping I'll have a moment with him if I camp out at the ambulance door until he's wheeled out for the transfer.

When he was home, there was a long list of chores to be done each day, and he had me up several times each night when he couldn't catch his breath. I worry that's going to be part of life now. He doesn't sound better...

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Ken Felts, who came out at age 90 and found love again shortly after, has published his memoirs. Here's a couple of links:

https://store.bookbaby.com/bookshop/book/index.aspx?bookURL=My-Handful-of-Stars

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59928433-my-handful-of-stars

A great reminder for the new year that it's never too late to be yourself.

Happy New Year! I hope you've had safe-but-joyous holidays with loved ones near(but not too near), and that 2022 has better days in store.

I sat down today to look back on what we did last year, and was happy with a lot of what I saw. Some highlights:

• One of our members who's a lawyer offered to weigh in on the problems older gay men face.
• We were hit with our first round of spam accounts. And our second. Thanks to everyone who's taken advantage of spam reporting to help us shut down problems as quickly as we can. We're working behind the scenes to flag more junk messages and head them off before they reach you.
• We added second homes and travel plans. If you divide your time between two locations, you can add them both and...

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My partner hasn't needed the wheelchair for three or four days. He's getting up and going about his business (watching golf, listening to pulp audiobooks) and has needed less constant attention.

So, today, I had time to look into the latest spam problems. I've had my eye on it, and I'm sorry for any of you who have been subjected to the nonsense. It's the same group of spammers, but they moved on from using one-use-only email domains to using ones @gmail.com. I couldn't outlaw all Gmail addresses, so I bided my time until I could deal with it. When I got to it today, I had to delete 650 spam accounts and the messages they'd sent. I placed blocks that should lock out this particular bunch of annoyers, so things should calm down, and I've set tasks for myself to add more general spam blocking, so I hope this will be our last round of widespread spam attacks.

Thanks for your patience with this untimely incursion. As far as I can tell, I'm...

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My partner came home Tuesday after two weeks in the hospital and eleven days at a rehabilitation center. He was still terribly weak and needed constant attention, so I’ve barely been online this week.

Naturally, my absence coincided with the latest onslaught of spammers on the site. Someone is using single-use email services to create accounts and send messages to other members. I blocked access from one service, and after a day, they started using another. And, today, a half dozen more. I plugged those holes also, but it may be a few days before I can do more than whack each mole as it pops out. Al still needs help, and, tomorrow, we’re starting our rounds of doctors’ offices following his discharge.

I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I know it makes being a member of the site less enjoyable when you get this nonsense in your inbox. (If you’re not sure what I mean, if you get a message from someone one minute after he joins the site...

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My other half’s been in the hospital with pneumonia for two weeks. That’s not quite accurate, since, thankfully, they eased COVID restrictions and I’ve spent part of each day with him. So, at a rough estimate, 41% of me has been gone. I’ve taken an iPad with me a couple of times, thinking I might do something while he's sleeping, but holding his hand and rubbing his thumb has been a full and satisfying vocation, and I haven't gotten around to more.

Each day of the last week has been a broken promise. First, we heard he'd go to rehab. I was all for this, seeing how weak he'd become, but then we heard that the rehab center only does acute care, and he's only cleared for sub-acute care. So they planned to send him to another center which, based on online reviews and conversations with many friends, has a reputation as a death trap that leaves people far worse than when they come in. And it was the only option his insurance would pay for. So he...

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Following on the heels of marking people in pictures, I've created galleries from the results:

https://oldergay.men/images/members

Have a look — happy window shopping! 😀

Jeff

I've made it possible now to say that you're in a picture on the site. On a picture's page, just click "Add yourself to the list" under "People in this picture". See here for example:

https://oldergay.men/images/fb51ce6ce0593dae4bc26646c91a6f62

Do Not Abuse This. Marking yourself as the subject of a picture of Ed Asner or a drawing of Santa Claus will get you a warning, and continuing will get your account banned. Let's keep this useful.

On profile pages, we make a distinction now between photos someone's uploaded and photos that feature the person. Like here:

https://oldergay.men/users/jeff-covey

We show ten pictures on the profile, and you can click through to see more:

https://oldergay.men/images?subject=141

When you upload a batch of photos now, you can tick a checkbox to have them all marked as pictures of you. If you've already uploaded a bunch, go to your profile page. Above the thumbnails of pictures uploaded by you, you'll find a new link labeled...

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In the best shoot-then-aim tradition, I've only started to collect statistics about what's happening on OlderGay.Men. One jumped out at me: 107 members currently support us on Patreon. On the one hand: That's great! On the other: It's 0.1468% of our membership.

I don't want to sound discouraged. But if only 15 percent of one percent of you care to make sure this will still be here tomorrow, you have to admit that's not the most enthusiastic vote of confidence. On a crass financial level, it means that supporting members pay less than a third of our monthly expenses. I'm happy to continue making up the rest, but increased support would ease both my pocketbook and my worries about whether this is a worthwhile experiment.

So let me ask you:

1. If you subscribe: Thank you!
2. If you don’t… Why not?

I don't mean that as an accusation, but as a sincere question.

I understand that $5 a month is more than some of our members can afford. I...

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Breaking in to our usual coverage for this sad news:

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/29/arts/television/ed-asner-dead.html